You're alone. Get over it / Esti singura. Depaseste momentul

     Hello, my dears. This is Bee.

     Buna, dragele mele. Sunt Bee.

     “Oh poor thing, she’s single!" Ok, so…!?!

     “Vai saraca, e singura!"  Asa, si?!?

     Since we are little the brain washing starts: through fairytales with princesses and prince charming, reading love stories and novels like Jane Austen type, watching Walt Disney  cartoons, girly movies and soap operas, oooh…let’s not forget the mothers and grandmothers have an important role in this, too. What is this brain washing all about: that happiness, that you are fulfilled as a woman only when you are in a relationship, in a marriage? You are a complete woman only when you have by you the strong, precocious, masculine sex (:P). But what do you do when you are single, when you don’t fit the pattern?

     De cand suntem mici incepe indoctrinarea: din povestile cu printese si printi, din romanele de dragoste gen Jane Austen, desene animate marca Walt Disney, filmele siropoase sau telenovelele, aaa… si sa nu uitam de mame si bunici. In ce consta indoctrinarea: ca fericirea sau implinirea unei femei este conditionata de viata de cuplu, casatoria, cu alte cuvinte de a fi intr-o relatie. Te-ai realizat ca femeie doar atunci cand ai alaturi sexul tare, feroce si precoce (:P). Dar ce te faci cand esti singura, cand nu te incadrezi tiparului?

Bee :)

     Today we are going to talk about why there are so many single women?

     There are 2 types of single women:

- those that are independent, in charge of their own sexuality and happy with their own life;

- and those that are the eternal victims, which always cry about being single, unhappy and all the time on a male hunt.

     Asa ca azi vom discuta despre de ce sunt asa de multe femei singure?

     Sunt  doua tipuri de femei singure:

- cele care sunt independente, sigure de propria lor sexualitate si fericite de viata pe care o au;

- si cele care sunt eternele victime, care se plang mereu ca sunt singure, sunt nefericite si se afla intr-o perpetua vanatoare de masculi.

     Let’s be clear: it’s not the end of the world if you are not in a relationship. The fact that you are involved with someone doesn’t mean that automatically you reached happiness. Life is too complex to reduce it to such superficial principles. Is not worth rushing into a relationship based on the pressure of your family, friends, that is, all those that should mind their own business. Better lonely and happy than miserable in a relationship. 

     Un lucru  sa fie clar: nu este capat de tara daca nu ai pe cineva.  Faptul ca esti intr-o relatie nu inseamna automat ca ai atins fericirea. Viata este prea complexa pentru a o reduce la niste principii superficiale. Nu merita sa te grabesti intr-o relatie din cauza unor presiuni care vin din parte familiei, prietenilor, mai pe scurt zis: gura lumii. Mai bine singura si fericita, decat intr-o relatie care provoaca suferinta fie morala, fie fizica. 

     There are different reasons why some women decide to postpone a relationship. Why are there single women? The answer is very complex. I’ll try to give you one, but is not an exhaustive answer (please feel free to comment and I would love to hear your ideas).

Career: the fact that some women wish to have a career, well, that is seen as a sacrilege by some men. Yes, men (some of them) feel intimidated by those women that have success on a professional level. Their masculinity feels threatened, castrated and executed mafia style. Also, having a career comes with some sacrifices. Sometimes work can take over your life, sacrificing the social part of it.

     Some women don’t consider themselves as single, but as INDEPENDENT. They don’t need a man’s approval for what they do, to feel fulfilled. They are in charge of their life, they respect themselves and don’t accept less than they deserve. They know what they want in life and also from their partner.

     Motivele care stau la baza unei astfel de decizii de a amana o relatie sunt cat se poate diferite. De ce sunt multe femei singure? Raspunsul este complex. Voi oferi un raspuns insa nu este exhaustiv (la final va rog sa comentati si sa imi spuneti parerile voastre).

     Cariera: dorinta unor femei de a face cariera este vazuta de unii barbati ca pe un sacrilegiu. Da, barbatii (unii dintre ei) se simt intimidati de femeile care au succes pe plan professional. Masculinitatea lor se simte amenintata, castrata si executata in stil mafiot. De asemenea, a face cariera inseamna si asumarea unor sacrificii. Uneori, munca le ocupa tot timpul in detrimental vietii sociale.

     Unele femei nu se considera singure, ci INDEPENDENTE. Ele nu au nevoie de aprobarea barbatilor pentru ceea ce fac. Sunt sigure de ele, de fortele proprii, se respecta si nu accepta jumatati de masura. Astfel de femei stiu ce vor de la viata, implicit de la partener. 

     The world should not feel pity for single women and not try to consider that there is something wrong with them and that they need ‘to get their life back on track’. Au contraire, they should admire and respect them.

     Gura lumii nu ar trebui sa le planga de mila femeilor singure si sa nu incerce sa considere ca e ceva in neregula cu ele, ca trebuie sa isi puna viata pe un ‘fagas normal’. Din contra, ar trebui sa le admire si sa le respecte.

I would like to give an advice to all the young women, women out there that are single: don’t let yourself influenced by the stupidity of others, by their fears and insecurities of those that have a narrow mind, that have a pessimistic, negativistic view on life, that is, don’t let yourself dragged in their word full of lightnings and thunders, and unhappiness. Don’t listen to those people that tell you that something is wrong with you just because you are single. Don’t go on a date just because you feel pressured by your friends or family just so you can be like the others.

     As dori sa le dau un sfat tuturor fetelor / femeilor care nu au un partener: nu va lasati influentate de prostia altora, de temerile si nesiguranta celor care au o minte ingusta, care au o viziune negativista si pesiminsta. Adica nu va lasati trase in lumea lor plina de tunete, fulgere si nefericire si sa nu va luati dupa acele persoane care va spun ca e ceva in neregula cu voi pt ca sunteti singure. Nu mergeti la intalniri ca rezultat al presiunilor exercitate de prieteni, ca vezi frate ‘maica, trebuie sa intri in randul lumii.’

     Enjoy your independence, your wisdom, and the fact that you know what you want from a partner and won’t accept useless, risky compromises. If is going to happen, it will. Good things happen to does that wait; in the end you will find your soul mate.

     Bucura-te de independenta pe care o ai, de inteligenta si de faptul ca stii sigur ce vrei de la un partener si nu accepti jumatati de masura, compromisuri inutile si riscante uneori. Daca este sa se intample, atunci asa va fi. Uneori merita sa astepti si sa cauti acea persona care este jumatatea ta.

XoXo,

Bee