Social media and the grass on the other side / Social media si iarba din curtea vecinului

     Hello, ladies. 

     Today, I would like to start a dialogue with you, my honeys, and to exchange some points of view about the following issue: has it ever happened to you, to be logged into your facebook(FB)  account looking at the photos of your friends, former school colleagues, and after that to start comparing your life with theirs? How many times has this happened to you, to be in a good mood when you log in your FB account, and after a few clicks your mood changes for the worse?

     Azi, doresc sa deschid dialogul cu voi, dragele mele, si sa facem un schimb de pareri despre urmatoarea constatare: voua nu vi se intampla sa stati pe facebook (FB) si sa va uitati la pozele amicilor, fostilor colegi de scoala, iar apoi sa incepeti a va compara viata cu a lor? De cate ori nu vi s-a intamplat sa fiti intr-o dispozitie buna, intrati pe contul FB sa vedeti cum sta treaba pe acolo, ca dupa cateva clicuri sa vi se schimbe dispozitia in mai rau?

     I think one of the side effects of social media is that we start comparing our lives with other people’s lives, and no matter how good we have it, in our eyes is not enough. We look at our lives and what we have with a critical eye; we get depressed and forget what life really is. We are confronted with the modern version of this saying: “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”My friends are happier than me, they travel more than me, they form a perfect couple, they have perfect children, and they go out and have more fun…everything is going on for them. Please tell me, I bet a lot of you think like this. In our eyes, they (friends, relatives, acquaintances, movie stars, former or present colleagues etc.) live in this perfect, pink world, with butterflies, where their lives are full of adventure, happiness and prosperity. And we, the ones that look with envy at the computer screen, stay there getting all angry about stupid things, wasting our time. This just makes me laugh that after thousands and thousands of years of evolution, the human race has regressed, not evolve. Why I say this? Because we are letting our judgment be guided by primordial instincts.

     Consider ca unul din efectele negative ale social media este ca ajungem sa ne comparam viata cu a celorlalti si indiferent de cat de buna este a noastra, parca in ochii nostri nu e suficient. Ne privim viata si ce avem cu un ochi foarte critic, ne deprimam si uitam ce conteaza cu adevarat in viata. Ne confruntam cu versiunea moderna a urmatoarei zicale: “Iarba e mai verde in curtea vecinului.” Prietenii mei sunt mai fericiti de cat mine, calatoresc mai mult decat mine, au o viata de cuplu perfecta, copii perfecti, se distreaza de minune…totul e la superlativ. Hai spuneti, sunt sigura ca multi dintre voi ganditi asa. In ochii nostrii, ei (amicii, rudele, cunoscutii, vedetele, fostii colegi, actualii colegi etc) traiesc intr-o lume perfecta, in roz si cu fluturasi, in care viata e plina de aventura, fericire si prosperitate. Iar noi, noi astia care cascam ochiul plin de invidie, stam cu ochii in monitor si ne facem sange rau. Imi vine sa rad, dupa atatea sute de mii de ani de evolutie a speciei umane, parca am involuat, nu evoluat. De ce zic asta? Pentru ca ne lasam judecata, ratiunea, ne lasam viata ghidata de niste instincte primordiale.

     People, please, stop with this nonsense to compare your live with those around you. Almost everything you know about others is a direct result of some assumptions you made by looking at some photos. Remember, is just an image. You are not looking into their soul, into their brain. Do you know what is inside their soul? NO! You are just seeing an edited version that they let you see about themselves, and you believe what they allow you to see. Just because someone is smiling in a photo, that doesn’t mean that person is happy. You don’t have to judge the quality of your life based on what you saw in some photos or what you heard. We see just a small portion of someone else’s life.  You realize how stupid and absurd is to compare your whole life with just a fraction from someone’s life.

     Oameni buni, va rog, nu va mai comparati viata cu viata celorlalti. Aproape tot ceea ce stii despre ceilalti este rezultatul direct al unor asumptii formate prin vizionarea unor fotografii. Este doar o imagine, tineti minte asta! Nu este o imagine a sufletului. Voi stiti ce este in sufletul lor? NU! Voi vedeti doar o versiune editata a lor, vedeti ceea ce ei va lasa  sa vedeti si sa credeti despre viata lor. Doar ca cineva zambeste intr-o poza, asta nu inseamna ca este fericit. Nu trebuie sa judeci calitatea vietii tale pe baza unor simple poze sau pe baza unor vorbe auzite. Noi vedem doar o mica bucatica din viata cuiva. Va dati seama ca e stupid si absurd sa compari intreaga ta viata, cu doar o bucatica din viata altcuiva.

     Please do not fall into this trap. Do not let jealousy, sadness, hate, insecurities take over you. Let’s live our lives the proper way, without falling into this trap of some frivolous things that are in the way of our own happiness. No one in this world has a perfect life. There is no such thing. Too often we forget to live our lives. We surround ourselves by negativity, hate, anger and we forget to see the bigger picture. Life is too short to be distracted by frivolous and harmful activities for our mental health. Life is already complex, chaotic (sometimes). Why make it harder? In most cases we are responsible for our own happiness.

     Va rog nu cadeti in aceasta capcana. Nu va lasati acaparati de gelozie, tristete, ura, idoieli.  Haideti sa ne traim viata asa cum trebuie, fara a cadea in capcana unor frivolitati care stau in calea fericirii noastre. Nici un om pe acest pamant nu are o viata perfecta. Nu exista asa ceva. Prea des uitam sa ne traim viata. Ne inconjuram numai de negativitate, ura, manie si uitam sa vedem imaginea intreaga. Viata e prea scurta pentru a ne lasa distrasi de preocupari frivole si nocive pentru sanatatea noastra mintala. Si asa viata este complicata, haotica uneori. De ce sa o ingreunam si mai mult? Noi suntem responsabili pentru prorpia noastra fericire (in majoritatea cazurilor). 

     The meaning of our existence is more than some material possessions. Do not let your mind be clouded by prejudice. Reach for happiness that is easy to reach, a simple happiness without regrets. 

     Sensul existentei noastre e mult mai profund decat a detine lucruri materiale scumpe. Nu va lasati mintea incatusata de prejudecati. Aspirati catre o fericire usor  de atins, o fericire simpla si fara regrete. 

     I would like to hear your point of view on this. Do you have moments like this when you fall into this trap to start comparing your live with others?

     Vreau sa va aud parerile. Voi aveti momente din acestea in care cadeti in  campcana de a va compara viata cu a celorlalti? 

                                      XoXo,

                                         Bee